


Let The Right One In

by ferric



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-14
Updated: 2013-10-14
Packaged: 2017-12-29 10:16:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1004214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ferric/pseuds/ferric
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Erwin lost an arm. Levi was less amused than usual.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let The Right One In

**Author's Note:**

> Unlike the reference made in the title, this is not a vampire story. My first and probably last Eruri fic, haha. 
> 
> Happy Birthday, Commander Handsome!

Levi had just finished putting Pastor Nick to bed after waiting for an hour for the bastard to finish taking a crap when Erwin decided to return without an arm.

Levi blinked once, twice, then, “You couldn’t have lose the less useful arm?”

Erwin allowed only a light wince to flash across his face as he struggled to get off his horse. Levi watched him , and being the shitty person that he was, didn’t help. A soldier rushed in to offer his help, but Erwin turned him away with a smile that seemed reassuring from one angle and ‘fuck off’ from another, depending on how one looked at it. Levi’s bet was on ‘fuck off,’ but it was probably a combination of both, knowing Erwin.

"Both of my arms are important, Levi," Erwin decided to humor Levi with a chuckle, and Levi narrowed his eyes, catching the undercurrent of stress and exhaustion in Erwin’s voice. His eyes strayed to the blood soaked bandages by Erwin’s side, so dark and red that they could barely be discern as bandages. 

Levi walked past Erwin and said, “You better get that taken care of before you die of being eaten by germs rather than titans.” He left to check on the others, barely catching Erwin’s, “That would be terrible.”

Levi didn’t know what compelled him to say it, but he stopped in his track, turned back to a shocked Erwin—Levi couldn’t blame him because Erwin knew that he hated to look back—and said, “I’ll be waiting for you until you’ve done with that and other administrative crap.”

"You hate waiting," Erwin said.

"You better make it quick then," Levi said, returning his attention to getting the returning party organized as they filed back into base. Erwin’s gaze burned the back of his neck, but Levi refused to look back a second time.

Levi was going to patiently wait in the room until Erwin arrived, but a crash at the door had him rushing to his feet, and sure enough, he found Erwin on the floor, paperwork strewn everywhere. He immediately tried to help Erwin up by instinct, but Erwin turned away from his touch, and Levi remembered that Erwin didn’t want help. If they were within the noisiness of the other soldiers, then Levi understood, but they were alone now, and Erwin’s stubbornness was beginning to piss him off.

"Just let me help you for once," Levi growled. 

"I’ll be fine," Erwin said, and with that, he carefully hoisted himself upright using his remaining limbs. Levi moved in to help, but again, Erwin pushed him away. "I’m fine."

Levi turned away, focusing instead on picking up the papers that fell because his anger was shimmering at the surface, dying to break out. Erwin let him had this at least, and did not say anything when Levi didn’t hand him the stack of paperwork but promptly walked past Erwin into the room. 

"I’m sorry," Erwin said as Levi set the papers on his table. "You don’t have to help me."

"I want to," Levi said. _Who the fuck wouldn’t?_

“I’m not an invalid, Levi,” Erwin said, and Levi could hear the creaking of the bed as Erwin sat down with a sigh. 

"I know you’re not," Levi said, turning around to face Erwin at last.

"Then stop looking at me like that?"

"Like what?"

"Like you’re pitying me."

Levi felt the last of his control left him as exhaustion hammered away at his attempt to cool his nerves. “When did I pity you?”

Erwin sighed, sounding frustrated, _finally_ , showing anything but that infuriating calm exterior that Levi knew was fake as fuck. “We shouldn’t talk about this. You don’t even realize how you’re looking at me right now.”

"No, let’s talk." Levi made up for his short legs with the fervor of his fury. It took him five steps to reach Erwin’s bed, one foot in between Erwin’s thighs, one hand fisted at Erwin’s collar, and one yank for Erwin to turn those equally angry eyes at him. He had one second to feel guilty that he had accidentally pulled at the wound on Erwin’s shoulder, but he pushed it away. "Listen here," Levi tightened his grip. "I don’t know what the fuck you’re on about, but what do you expect me to do?"

"You could stop trying to give me unwanted help—"

"You were on the fucking floor," Levi said. "I let you have your way when we’re in front of everyone, but we’re alone now, so why does it matter?"

"I can get myself on my feet fine," Erwin said. "Even if I lost my arm, I’m not useless."

"But it sure would help if I give you a hand," Levi said. "I don’t get—"

"No, that’s right. You don’t get it," Erwin jerked away from Levi’s grip. 

"The fuck, Erwin?" Levi tried to keep his voice down, but he couldn’t help it, the shock and the pain and everything else that he forcefully numbed away were coming back, the devastation that weighted heavily in his stomach pulling him down, drowning him in a sea of helplessness and regret and _I should have been there with you_ , and then Erwin jerked him from everything.

"Stop it!"

Levi jumped. It was the first time that he had heard Erwin raised his voice.

"I can still fight. I can still command. I can still…to you," but then Erwin’s words drifted off into a powerless silence, and Levi’s mouth stumbled before he could think.

"You can," Levi said, but something had shifted at Erwin’s confession because Erwin shook his head and looked down at the floor.

"I can’t," Erwin chuckled. Defeated. Lost. "Not anymore."

"You won’t be defeated with something as small as losing an arm," Levi said, desperate for Erwin to get back to where he was before, _anything_ , even anger was preferred. 

"I never got to hold you in my arms, did I?" Erwin said, the longing in his voice scratching at Levi’s skin. "And I can’t now. I don’t know if I can protect you or anyone like this."

"You can," Levi said, but Erwin refused to look at him, and Levi placed a hand on Erwin’s good shoulder. "Erwin, look at me. Look at me!"

"Levi, I’m tired. Let’s just go to bed." And Erwin was beginning to withdraw from him again, knitting back together that stone-like mask, and Levi hated it.

"No," Levi tightened his grip on Erwin’s shoulder. "Look at me. Don’t be a fucking coward. Look. At. Me."

Erwin looked at Levi then, weary and tired, and Levi wasn’t going to feel bad about this. He wouldn’t. Because Erwin needed to hear this. Because Erwin needed to get this through his thick skull. “Do I look like someone who needs to be protected?” 

Erwin made a noise at the back of his throat, dismissive, and Levi shook him as gently and firmly as he could. “Do I?”

"No, but—"

"And those soldiers out there," Levi continued before Erwin could start on another self-pity monologue. "They don’t need your protection either. They don’t need your kindness. They don’t need your hand-holding. They need your leadership."

"That means that they, like me, are willing to die knowing that your command will lead us closer to victory," Levi said, watching Erwin’s face carefully. "It’s doesn’t matter if they die today or tomorrow—we’re all going to die—but we’ll die with a purpose."

"Even if it hurts," and here, Levi felt the back of his eyes stung at the memory of his squad, smiling before they mounted their horses, the sun warm and the wind gentle. _We trust you, Corporal._ “No matter what, we trust you. I trust you. You’re still Erwin Smith, Commander of the Survey Corp.”

Erwin let out a shaky breath, and he was silent for a moment. Then, catching Levi by surprise, the vulnerability returned, spreading slowly over Erwin’s face as he asked so softly Levi barely caught it, “Lend me your shoulder?”

"Yeah," Levi said, moving to sit between Erwin’s thighs so that Erwin could rest his head against Levi’s shoulder. Erwin’s shaky breathing burned his skin, but it was the wetness soaking through his shirt that broke Levi. 

Levi let Erwin shred the last of his mask, each piece cracking away as tears.

"I know you don’t need a right arm," Levi said, feeling the roll of emotions curling in his stomach unwinding. "But you can place your trust in me to be its replacement."

"Is that the soldier in you talking?" Erwin asked, sounding strangely vulnerable. "Or the friend?" There was something else hidden in the word ‘friend,’ and Levi knew the implication without Erwin explicitly voicing it out.

"Both," Levi said. "When it comes to you, it has always been both."

Erwin wrapped his remaining arm around Levi, holding Levi for the first time. Even without Erwin’s right arm around him, whatever space remained between them, Levi made up with his unconditional devotion.

**Author's Note:**

> Eventually Levi will say something in the line of him trusting Erwin beyond his capacity of being a commander, but for now they shall be sad. And Insecure. Yay, unresolved conflict. :D


End file.
